All people ever say is: "thank you" (a celebration of life) and "please" (an opportunity to make life more wonderful). (Marshall Rosenberg)
Sometimes, when I see the word "expectation" I try to read it as "need" and see how things change.
I noticed that this tends to reframe situations in a way that makes me feel more comfortable.
I noticed that I tend to instinctively perceive "expectations" as "do this or there will be consequences", and I tend to instinctively perceive "needs" as "do this if you want to see me happy".
I noticed that my motivation to care for someone's expectations tend to be something close to fear, and my motivation to care for someone's needs tends to be something close to love.
This might give me a bit more hints on The art of asking: I will not expect you to do something for me, I'll just allow myself to be loved, liked or helped by you, and I'll try to be open about what I need.
I smile realising that since a long time, on the professional side of my life, I learnt to lead interaction with my customers along the same lines: "let's talk about what you need, not about what you expect of me".